10 Effective Ways to Kill Your Wife

1. On your anniversary gift her a Flamethrower, and leave the house. According to my calculations, she and your house should be on fire in a couple of hours.

2.Tell her that there is a 50% discount sale on woman’s clothing in Afghan terror camps.

3.Again, you could alternatively gift her a book on “How to kill you husband, Vol.1″. Trying to check its validity she should end up choking herself or something like that.

4.Falsely confess to her that you have erectile deficiency. She should kill herself in about a day.

5.Explain to her that there is a place where she need not cook, launder, mop and tidy- tell her its called Heaven.

6.Write a book “Why my wife is the best in the world!”. Make sure its a best-seller. Her hidden conscience for abusing you all these years should be fatal to her.

7.Tell that her favorite television serial is not going to be aired anymore, that should depress her to insanity. Make an advance book at the local asylum, you may not get reservations later considering how many may try this idea.

8. Take her to K2 mountains for ‘holidays’ and tell her your mother i.e.her mom-in-law had climbed it without any gear. Just add some oil to the fire. Then pray for the best.

9.Take her to a shark pool and tell her that swimming with sharks will make her skin look young and glowing forever!

10.Show her a spreadsheet from your office accounts, she should have a heart failure after seeing all those complicated graphs, signs and numbers.