10 Ways to Kill Your Husband

Before any of you say that I am a male-chauvanist, here is my help to women out there who are not very happy with men. Extinguish him with these tips:

1. When he returns from office tell him that you had had his credit card for the entire day. Expect instant heart failure.

2. Tell him that watching romantic films all night will win him $1 million. Don’t worry about the money, he should die half-way into the night.

3. Tell him that a pub in Afghan terror camps offers free drinks throughout the night. Even get him a ticket if you can.

4. Narrate to him false stories such as your college boyfriend had once flown a plane without any training. Sit back and enjoy results (Tried and tested method).

5. Paint your room in shocking pink, pink curtains, pink furniture. Tell him you have a surprise in your room and show it to him. If this does not kill him nothing will. Though blindness for life is guaranteed.

6. When he is driving on an inter-state or a busy expressway, slowly begin to undress. (Note: Keep bailout parachute ready. Advised only for experienced husband-killers).

7. Show him a recipe book. (Note- All recipes may not work.)

8. When he watches his favorite team play make him sign his ‘mercy-killing documents.

9. Say that you are going to have a headache forever…

10. Tell him that Pamela Anderson called and wanted to meet him at a restaurant. The restauramt is next to an active volcano in Malaya.